Home School Link at Harvington
Working with families because...........
...........together we love, learn and grow.
Our Home School Link is:
Mrs Katie Thorp
This month's Home School Link Topic - January 2019
In my experience friendships are the most common issue children raise when asked how they feel about school. If they say they like school, it is usually because they enjoy being with their friends, but children that say they don’t like school usually state that it is because they have had a falling out with a particular friend, feel they are being left out of a particular friendship group or feel that they have no friends.
Making and losing friends should just be part of growing up; giving children resilience and problem solving skills. Hopefully this is true for most, but for some it can be painful at the time it is happening. Aside from bullying, which all schools must address effectively (you can find our anti-bullying policy and our behaviour policy in the key information menu on our web site), children do fall out and this can usually be resolved quite quickly with support from an adult. Below are some key things to teach your child about how to be a good friend and avoid fall-outs, followed by some essential steps to handle fall-outs when they do happen and help restore friendships.
How to be a good friend
- Be a good listener; take other children’s opinions into consideration even, if you don’t agree with them.
- Be kind; take turns and share.
- Be honest; don’t agree to something just to please, but be true to yourself.
- Be supportive; encourage others, pay compliments and give praise.
- Be prepared to give other people’s ideas a go, rather than wanting to do things your way all the time.
- Try not to have just one friend or a BFF (Best Friend Forever) as this excludes others and causes fall-outs between wider friendship groups.
- Remember the best way to make a friend is to be a friend.
What to do when fall-outs happen
- Tell an adult and keep telling until it is sorted.
- Stay away from the child/ren that has upset you.
- Tell a parent/ carer as soon as you can.
- Don’t take sides; rather encourage others to make good choices about how they respond.
This is all easier said than done, especially for younger children. Try to encourage your child to talk about school on a daily basis, so that you can help them to problem solve any difficult situations as they arise. Ask questions which encourage them to gain the social skills they need to sort out any future disagreements. These could be to encourage empathy by helping your child see things from someone else’s point of view eg: “how do you think Felix felt when Robert called him a baby?” or “why do you think Elsa was crying?” With older children you can also ask questions such as “What would you like to have done differently?” or “How do you think you could manage things better if it happens again?” These types of questions will help equip your child as they move up through first school and on to middle school.
Please remember that you can talk to either your child’s teacher or myself if your child is struggling with friendships. We will always do whatever we can to help.
A Recipe for Friendship
You will need:
- a pinch of happiness
- 1 handful of kindness
- 2 spoonfuls of gentleness
- 1 litre of sharing
- a teaspoonful of helpfulness
- 3 heaped tablespoons of laughter
- 50g of smiles
- a sprinkling of cheerfulness
- 100g of love
Mix all these together. Then you will have the perfect friend.
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